FELIX DEFIES NATURAL ORDER IN RETURN TO TOP FORM ONLY FOR BASEBALL GODS TO MAKE ATTEMPT ON HIS LIFE

felix

It was going great. The first inning was a dream. Felix Hernandez, The King, Seattle’s fallen monarch showed the stuff of old until a line drive got in his way.

Felix took control of his first outing of Spring Training by striking-out both Javier Baez and Anthony Rizzo in a 1-2-3 inning.

In the bottom of the 2nd, things got off to a shaky start when Felix beaned Addison Russel. However, he was able to pitch Justin Hayward into a full-count before the star outfielder lined out.

Then, the unexpected. The surreal. The stuff of bad memories. Cub’s Victor Caratini lasered a comebacker square into Felix’s pitching arm and The King was immediately walked off the mound in visible distress.

Mariners fans are currently in panic mode as the Baseball Gods crack open the champagne.

UPDATE:

Initial x-rays came back negative thus indicating that Felix’s upper arm is not broken. Mariners announce that the former Cy Young winner is “day-to-day” pending further examination tomorrow. This positive news will not put a damper on the baseball Gods’ party; they are still drinking, listening to loud music, and making decisions they’ll inevitably regret tomorrow. So it goes.

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